Tears of Joy

Yesterday I was rearranging my laundry room because earlier in the week I decided I needed shelves on the walls. So my amazing husband got to work tackling yet another one of my projects that I needed done now! Can I just say how excited I am about having all these shelves in my laundry room. I keep wandering in just to take a look at the organization – I know I’m in hyper nesting mode what can I say!

While I was putting boxes on my new shelves I ran into a calendar and sheet of quotes that I had saved. As soon as I saw them so many memories came flooding and I was amazed how much my life had changed in the past 5 years. The calendar contained important dates when I was undergoing fertility treatments (dates for doctors visits, blood work, fertility drugs, ultrasounds), the day I found out I was pregnant, and the countdown to the birth of our precious Samuel. The sheet of quotes was something I kept on my fridge to remind me that one day I would be a mother, but the timing was not in my hands. I didn’t have much time to reflect because the kids were getting hungry for lunch.

During lunch I try and read the kids a story from the Friend magazine. Yesterday I opened the Friend to an article titled “My Gratitude List” and started to read. When I was done reading the article I talked to the kids for a few minutes about being thankful then I asked Samuel what he was thankful for. He paused for a couple of seconds then said, “I’m thankful that Heavenly Father is sending us another baby”. Bella who was sitting right beside him got the biggest smile and said, “Me too”. I took a look around at my little ones – Samuel with his hat on slightly crooked taking big bites of his sandwich, Bella with her messy hair and jam all over her face and on the front of the swim suit she insisted on wearing, and Isaac rubbing honey and peanut butter in his hair and I couldn’t help the tears of joy as I echoed my own, “Me too”. This is what I had prayed, hoped and wished for all those years. Is it hard – yes, at times life is chaotic and soon it will be even more so. Is it wonderful – YES, even more than I imagined!

After the kids finished their lunch I sat down to eat myself and read the quotes had I found that gave me such comfort during many dark days. It was then the tears of joy flowed freely again and I was amazed at how time can heal wounds and trails give us experiences that make us grow and become better even if the growth hurts at times. How Blessed and Grateful I feel to be a mother to these precious little ones!

I think most of these quotes came from Conference talks, but I can’t quite remember and I didn’t include references.
• We need to have faith in the timing of God and be able to say, “Thy timing be done” even when we do not fully understand it.

• We make a mistake when we think we own ourselves and that we own blocks of time. Our faith in God includes faith in God’s timing, enough to be able to say, in effect, “Thy timing be done”.

• We make another mistake. We fail to focus on and develop patience and faith. These two attributes are in tandem; they go together.

• We foolishly wish to have some of lives moments over and done with, seasons to be over with, ignoring the possibilities for service that are inherent in them.

• It is not without a recognition of life’s tempests but fully and directly because of them that I testify of God’s love and the Savior’s power to calm the storm…Christ knows better than all others that the trials of life can be very deep and we are not shallow people if we struggle with them. But..He rebukes faithlessness and He deplores pessimism. He expects us to believe. (Jeffrey R. Holland – I actually did write this reference down) He than gave an analogy of a red star fish holding tight to a rock ledge as the waves beat against him.